en trance

spirited scribbles

2011-09-11T01:00:00.000-07:00

missed it again!!:( don’t know when it will occur naturally to me..

well, have you ever said sorry and thank you’s to your furniture, walls, vehicles, utensils, books etc? ah, they are non living things! then do we need to?!

they can’t express.. but can we?! should we?!

well one can only decide for self and i am extremely thankful to my parents who did in corporate this habit in me..

habit of being polite and grateful to your things which help you and are part of your daily life.. and without them you are almost handicapped!

so as the checklist begins..

one of my precious thing would be this blog and yes i missed it again this year! missed IT’S birthday.. well if you treat it as good as living thing then it has birthdays :p and by the way, who defines what birthdays are really if only of living things or of non living things too?! i guess not even lord bhrama - lord of creation can decide that truly.. that what when and how spirit takes birth!

it’s been so long for the last post and probably longest that i haven’t even thought or anything hasn’t inspired me to even ponder and keep in my computer drive.. no un posted but saved files either :( and thus, it feels so much more today when you almost can’t write?! (for what so ever reason like - life is busy, too many things piled up, work pressure, nothing to inspire etc) it then feels so significant that how far pondering over thoughts and sharing experiences before been like! a way out to so many emotions experiences and expressions and how the tiny blog truly helps..

of course those who read loved criticized admired and encouraged it to go on.. and hence it happened and still happening..

but for me its been mostly great way and medium of expression. without which woman feels suffocated ;)!

So now it strikes me on my birthday to wish my blog belated birthday! that

'may it continue long.. and may it gets better..'

ps: how do we know and decide birth date? simply the day when I posted my first blog.. 8^th june 2008! :)

grazie.. gracious..

2011-02-06T21:39:00.000-08:00

one incredible year spent post arangetram..

first arangetram anniversary today!

a smile through one eye and tear drops through other..nostalgic day.. the day when i danced my heart out..

gained so much pre, post and during that and lost even double..

that’s how life trade is :)

it naturally takes me to the past, not just by a single year but by many years..

and while i contemplate and think about the most special thing dance has ever given me? is the grace!

‘grace’ to live life..

and like i mentioned before, what it took back as a fair trade is something so unfair and hell so special;(

and if life permits, then we can talk about it some other day.. but for now, gracefully getting back to the grace :) yes,

dance has been teaching me that grace not just to dance gracefully but to learn to live life gracefully against all odds..

how and what and why and i am not sharing it all ;)

dance blossoms with grace and its my sincere opinion that life too can if lived in graceful manner will blossom..

though this particular learning is a life time and a challenging process in real life..

but how and when this grace is tested?

see ourselves learning for years back stage, struggling to get that one step correct and sometimes we give up only to pick up again.. and on stage is there is any escape? ankle bells may loose may fall, jewels may break or disturb and a lot can happen with costume too, cd’s might run too fast, system can fail or one might be unwell.. but the show must go on!!

how even double gracefully and smartly we would compose ourselves then..

similarly in life.. in tough times, i think we are only expected to handle those with grace.. but we over react, misbehave, feel bad, think negative, handle, quit, cry, crib and do all of that which blasts so naturally within us.. :)

instead this is my very simple understanding of accepting life that whatever it offers, it should be lived gracefully.. and that’s one of those special lessons dance has been teaching me.. to live with grace.

needless to say, only masters have achieved and mastered it to live it that way.. and we can little bit try and try again if and when fail.. but someday wouldn't we be grazie to that gracious way? :)

so here i am thanking my stars..

also a big thank you to particularly those whom i forgot to mention and thank in my speech on arangetram day..

cheers..

from shadows to light.. from life to life..

2011-01-04T03:31:00.000-08:00

success and prosperity
peace and harmony
love and people
happiness and smiles
may 2011 bring all in magical ways to you and your loved ones..
wishing you great new year! priti parekh

it felt nosy:p and weird when i saw this message some friend put it up as her facebook status on new years day! not cause one shared my mere words without any of my consent.. neither i am a big famous writer nor i vouch that i dont copy and paste anything at all!
but i doubt if one really considers or rereads the meaning of these beautiful heartfelt words.. and the little precious time one spends over thinking on how to greet loved ones.. sigh

some 2 years back my blog initiated the same way when nothing came to my rescue for new year's wishes and i am totally glad today that i didnt opt for any ready made life or any ready made writeup back then.. or else the blog would have never happened!! :)

this funny friend of mine unknowingly sends my own thoughts aka my phone messages back to me as forwarded messages and may be she really likes it and hence she shares with everyone including me too :)

don't i say always, everything in life happens and comes for certain purpose..
thanks to hers,
she helped me update my blogpage which was idle for half year or more, clearly wanting to move on and was looking for some provoked intuition:P
she helped me value my writeup's knowingly unknowingly
she helped consider my blog birthday .. awe its born on 8th june 2008 :)
so i will continue writing messages and sending her as well :P whats the big deal when purpose is fulfilled ;) !

men will always be men!

2010-06-14T10:11:00.000-07:00

since there’s is no unanimous ‘ happy men’s day’ ?!
i did celebrate it one on last friday! unknowingly though.. and will remember it for long i guess…. so long enough to blog it here :)

met 4 different shades of men, reacting so differently in the same situation! and showing care and concern extremely different ways :)
what i share with each one of them is so different and so the care and concern they showed was obviously very different..
and it will be stupid, foolish and unjustified to say that this was better and that one was fair enough and other wasn’t.. or perhaps this was expected and this wasn’t!

so leaving all the calculative work behind, let me put this very simply that it was one of those happening days when i realized that..

" sometimes we only understand ourselves better with the way ‘man’ judges and loves us :)"

as an independent person and woman i totally dislike it.. but then :) its so true that we do sometimes.. and we do realize it....
so then here are few who made me realize it the same other day :)

suketu
my friend my savior!
someone who proves me that a cat and dog can be friends:p
someone who taught me
‘selfishness is virtue.. sometimes.. for the bigger picture!’

how hard it is sometimes for naive and stupid people
and how easy you made it for me suketu......
i will always be obliged for the same :)

might be a coincidence that i am performing soon a scene in dance from bhagvatgita where arjuna was caught in ‘dharma sankata’!
where he give up in the middle of battle field and decides not to fight against his own blood. its then when lord krishna guides him ‘that what has to be done must be done.. in order to save kingdom and more’
i guess performing this scene in dance is so easy now..
but living any dharma sankata in real life !! !! but thanks suketu....you have no clue how simple you made it with those three lines, a piece of advice at the right time!
and at the top of all, it doesn’t feel any wrong. thanks for the right push and right light. you helped me take certain decisions with so much ease and giving me that new insight. my savior cant thank you enough in words...
‘for sometimes in life you are destined to listen to something extremely important from someone who will give you that pure unbiased thought and which will help you till eternity.’

my dear father
the one who taught me how to walk and i am not ashamed to accept that he still do..
the one who provides unconditional unsaid love and support
one who is busy these days teaching me that, how to arrest certain situations in life and why?
its so wonderful to know that all of sudden you have sooo much time for me again, that i have to say ‘goooo now i need to work’ and you will still hang in there for me.. with something indirectly you teach is to never give up on situations and on people!
its wonderful catching up on the time we lost, be it whichever ways:)

prospect
the doctor who had nothing but all his shallow heart for me :) probably few doctors need to learn the art of saying sorry.. cause that’s what few are known for!
but then i still respect doctors a lot.. i really do.
be their patients off the medicine and they will show you what care and concern is like..
i guess doctors are most challenged people when it comes to emotions.
and i guess i have always seen that enough in real life to understand.

but then, mr. hahnemann once said that treat the man in disease and not disease in man :)
guess what, sometimes spirit and guts lack..

where i realized the most that when you say it, please mean it! mean it from the bottom of your heart or else dont say it..
cause probably when doctors hurt it takes longer to heal.

rishi
some people know you so well sometimes, beyond any time any distance. candid enough to understand when needed most. maybe not a everyday part of your life... but its great the way sometimes we talk in silence..
forget about the call rishi, i was hardly even expecting you to understand the gravity of status other day...
guess it shows, we seemed to have sooo much good time together .. haven’t we ?:)

so with all that happening on just one single day i hardly had a time to think about women.. lols! hardly had a time to think for myself:P.... and the men here did that for me :)
kudos and thank you’s.

for sometimes.. when significance of men felt so much on the same day:p
now if you hang in till here then let me add something which happened so recently in the same context.....

someone asked : soooo, you do fashion designing….??
i : naaahh.. i do interior designing.
someone: but then your dressing sense is good….!
i :......... cause may be being a designer i understand lines, cuts, colors, patterns little better…… (i can be sooo boring at times.. ;( :P)

someone: ohh right! and you probably add good curves to it!!!!

now that’s too much to handle as compliment specially in presence of your parents and lot of other people who i wish ignored that.. lols! i politely thanked him.. thinking at the back of my mind.. men will always be men :) ;)!

vipassana

2010-04-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

on my way from mumbai to pune.. in volvo bus.
i never read or write in such kinda travel. but this time is a true exception!cause i know if i don’t do it just now it can’t be ever again so effortlessly and spontaneously.
(didn’t carry laptop with me:( and actually writing on notepad and this insane music in the bus is so insane that i wonder how long i will be able to concentrate on writing and imagine the online typing effort again ……… but anyway lets get started!)

i dedicate this blog to my friend kalpesh! for ‘we’ know what ‘i’ earned :)
thank you kalpesh for whatever little or more i could extract out of this experience, this wouldn’t be possible without your constant encouragement and being a true helping hand.... always.

and here comes the reply to all those who didn’t know what i was upto last 12 days! where i was? why i didn’t reply to any mails calls and messages? and answers to the very habit of seeing a person online, and sudden disappearance may question lot of curiosity!

‘i truly wonder if we really miss someone’s existence more or their non existence is so inhabitual to us!’
anyway that’s a whole different plot alltogether:P but thanks for asking.. i am fit and fine, in fact wonderful:)

been to ‘vipasana’ actually!

well, i am not in a authorized position to do all the talking about what vipasana is and what it is not.
just a first time student!
but i can always share my tiny piece of experience briefly.. something what i earned can be shared….
main link -
http://www.dhamma.org/

and do not faint when you check, code of discipline and schedule.
here -
http://www.dhamma.org/en/code.shtml
lol.. but do check that.

for me, the entire experience of learning vipasana for 10 days was..
mentally challenging
physically difficult at times
but in the end, all so worth it!!
how far i take this forward.. (practice and theory) is even i am eager to see :)

but we can always talk one o one.. if you need to know more details, my actual each day experience over there and if you are preparing yourself to learn vipasana. or any damn thing :)

this blog has to end here, as vipasana is ‘just’ about experiencing it yourself, nothing more or nothing less.
so nothing more to add here :)

though beyond words..

2010-01-20T22:04:00.000-08:00

i am <3ing new year.. just know it so perfect within, that its going to be an amazing, challenging, generous, wonderful new year! and a really different one.. a milestone in my life!

beginning with gr8 news to share with you all:) (officially:P)
its something to do with my dance.
its something about my life time experience.
its something about ‘my transformation into a better dancer’ or as my teacher rightly likes to put ‘transformation into better person’!!

“ i am performing my ‘ a r a n g e t r a m ’ on 7th february 2010! “

some answers to obvious questions :P
what is bharatnatyam?
what is arangetram?
so what really happens after arangetram?
why do you need to do that?

bharatnatyam is south indian classical dance form.
this dance is an unique combination of history, vast theory and equally mind blowing rigorous practical dance training!

arangetram is the stage, when the guru presents their student for the first time in full fledged recital. it qualifies the dancer to begin her career, learn and seek knowledge and to live by her art!

it can also be called as ‘graduation ceremony’ under bharatnatyam in which student performs solo along with live orchestra, almost 8to9 different dances in front of dance lovers, family, friends, acquaintances, critics and about everyone..
an open show for everyone to judge and enjoy :) where student offers a true gurudakshina to teacher after many years of rigorous training under him or her.

its like a dream coming true for every bharatnatyam dancer! unlike routine school, college procedures it has no yearly very patterned syllabus system. so sometimes even if you are learning for 10 more years, your teacher may not find you up to mark to be able to take arangetram level performance and will ask you to practice some more…. again every teacher and every different institute demands their own standards to meet!

needless to say, it’s not as simple as it may sound!
years of hard work learning and practicing such disciplined dance form, reaching the arangetram level.. still being and feeling almost like a novice!
an ‘everyday’ struggle to learn and maintain stamina.. leaving all physical injuries.. barriers behind and then we _ as the normal people, are always going through lot in our professional and personal life:) dealing with all those etc mentally taxing things in life and experiencing the sheer joy of progressing, learning dance and dancing!!

so how do i feel just 2 weeks before arangetram??!!
thrilling? joyful? excited? nervous? sad? happy? mad? ohhhh…you just name the thing!
i am still in a very tender process to believe that i am an artiste and will take at least lifetime to understand what it is really to live like an artiste?! :)
but yes, i love dancing.. i love bharatnatyam.. and i am happy i made this choice to learn this dance form!

leaving sad and few non happening things behind (we will discuss why, what, how, later some day;() its about living and feeling so much happiness for now :) !!
learning and looking at life with different perspective. atleast trying to do so...
i so wish if i can explain better but no words can suffice the apt description! and then there is sooooo much to share.. saving my keyboard and let my mind, body and heart alone play the battle;)

i am extremely thankful to some people who have tolerated my already so hyper and then differently hyper in aragetram days kind of temper! i am happy that only few have seen my temper and i wish nobody sees it :D
it’s a sure time which tastes your close people no matter you want it or not! i am lucky, my people have always surprised and helped me with all they can.

without a doubt, these are one of those best, amazing and memorable days of my life.. complete with few people and incomplete without few people:)

So for now, sharing this wonderful news at one of the settled moment i was able to steal out my pretty complicated mind state of these days and of course the grueling practice schedule!
no more blah blah really…

i take this opportunity to cordially invite you for my arangetram! can’t wait to see you all at the event!!!!!
accept this as informal invitation _ to those i know (i am sending invitation card soon) and may be formal invitation to those_ my anonymous friends and readers.
send me across your wishes and prayers from now cause there is nothing like that which works :) and i will soon catch up with ..? !
keep glowing your imaginations;)
bye for now..

by the way venue details:P

arangetram: 7th feb 2010, Sunday at 5.30 pm
artiste: priti parekh
venue: tilak smarak mandir, behind s. p college pune 30.

kudos to my mamma ..........

2009-09-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

every time you manage your time ……….
busy schedules and stand by me ……….
maybe you never get to see all my performances cause you are managing lot of other things then ……….
you help me dress ………. do my hair ……….
i know that’s tremendously tough job ……….
but you do it all so well !

i shout, get irritated, tensed, worried , nervous, mad all at the same time ……….
but you never stop praying for me! praying for my success where ever i go ……….
i know you are behind me praying always!

even if i don’t do well, you always tell me that i was the best amongst all ……….
i know mamma ………. that’s not true all the time
but you want me to believe and get going always!

i have lived on those theplas and golpapdis you specially prepare before my any performance ……….
so much so that i feel nervous when i don’t get to eat the same!

all my medals awards accomplishments you share so equally ……….
cause there wouldn’t be any if it was not you, behind me!

when you see my dance videos, you try and imitate my actions ……….
you look so so cute then ……….
one of those time when i feel you are my daughter!

i am just about to leave for another dance class ……….
and there you are telling our maid to make tea for me ……….
reminding me to eat my almonds ……….
before you leave for your so important work!

i know you will never read this unless i get you here and make you read ……….
my not so tech savvy mamma
you prove that there is not everything a machine can do ……….
can it design mother?!

you know something………. i never want you read this ……….
cause i want somebody else to read and bless me
to be your daughter always!

Maybe i will take many births to be your deserving daughter ……….
but i want to be one!
and i want to pray ………. to be the one!

when it rains..

2009-07-19T21:07:00.000-07:00

5th June, 4pm: she was installing some software in her computer. Thinking about 5pm yoga class to attend, she was fixing things as fast as possible. It started pouring. not a havoc sight.. but still one of those first heavy rains of this season..
Oh no!! not now!! she mumbled, ran all over place to close windows. To avoid threatening rain inside house. She lives in two side open corner flat which is ideal to stay in other seasons but in monsoons…..… she kind of suffocate with the idea of keeping windows close :(It upsets her every time when it rains!! Oh, she knows we need rain and absolutely love, admire nature! She loves golden sun after heavy rains!!
Chat windows popup like never before, when people see her status ‘it’s raining with sad smiley’…. exactly opposite to their own happy status! There is something about rain which surely upsets her!
Leaving her work half the way, she got down thinking..
At least, watching rain through window this year is so different and beautiful than those maddening rainy days of site execution and meeting those unrealistic deadlines! Last year monsoon was soooooo busy. After half an hour of introspection and those memories..She felt lucky. sigh! that changed her dull mood into some energy!
she really wanted to know this time why people love when it rains.. why and how people find this rain so romantic??She immediately messaged few people. “It’s raining here! First rain of this season... Tell me your one memory which completes with rain”
To her shock some people replied...Of course with some fond memories!
so here I am ;) by this time you must have guessed it who she is :) sipping hot tea near my window………….watching the greenery outside and this gang of kids playing football in mud and rains at society lawn.. So happily so freely.. I am reading out these messages: I am sure you want to know!
Writing few here exactly the way they were sent. Just few modifications and editing the very personal matter..
Starting with my close friend who immediately called up almost shouting, “pritiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii I got a list! Will mail you!
I can’t explain worthy of this mail. Probably this is the only one which will help me shell out of my mental block when it rains. I would love this blog to end with her mail. Meanwhile lets read some other messages :) and in case if you want to add or share your memories with rain, I will be more than happy accepting those comments or go on editing this blog forever - priti

N: well every second day it rains here, honestly there are many memories from holiday in school due to rain to time spent at home with family. from lofergiri with friends to precious moments with ex love. Many to recount, all were fond memories, thanks for taking me to past and for luvly sms

A: bhai and me. On the terrace of our old building in borivli. Rushing to get drenched in the first shower of pure unadulterated rain. Cool wind. Sweet matti ki khushbu. Wow. I miss it all.

M: when I see rains, I have no memories… only pure internal bliss

K: nice smell of mud, clean -green lush trees, sipping hot choco milk & chatt patta pakodas, sharing same umbrella with hot chicks & eventually getting drenched 2gether ;)

R:My walk with my friend and my dad . . . . 10th std main.. urs?

S:my last year trip to goa was at the time when it just started raining while coming back. What a wonderful drive it was :)

P: many many wonderful memories… I can go forever…
1 – gorai beach rain with wind… with someone (obviously female;-) ) arm in arm sharing an umbrella…
2 – bushy dam lonavala sitting on the steps enjoying the flow of the water with rain having chai and vada pav
3- sitting in the listening to “music from the worl of osho “ watching the rain and beautiful scenery outside from the window…. Light drizzles touching and caressing my face from the window… perfect…
4- independence rock concert at rang bhavan… enjoying live music even though totally drenched in water…

N: the first drop trough an eye leads, falling on ur cheeks.. first u shiver n then u smile.. that’s a feel of rain..

R:ummm. Memories of school perhaps. a rainy day meant no classes and enjoying ourselves madly in the playground. :)

N:
hi...finally I’m writing a mail ...sweetheart u know how bad i am with all this...oks.. coming to the point...first rain huh?...
“first rain never seems to be that beautiful again as it does when one is 18-19 years of age...its like a feeling as if god himself is showering all his blessings on u...and trust me if one is already in love it becomes a memory for life.
my first rain has so many memories attached to it that even in my darkest moods it should make me smile...first rain reminds me of all the masti in my junior college days. spending times with friends at college parking discussing love problems at priyadarshani(p.d) discussing future plans..
life really didn’t seem to be the way it was planned but still when it rains those ties n bonds can never be forgotten...then again comes the first rain ...moving around the town on the bike...when we had no cars...n dreaming that we had one...!
now that we have everything in hand relationships didn’t last...but memories will always... there were times when we also cursed the rain as it would the biggest obstacle n barrier for loved ones to meet...gone were those days also.
then came the reality of life...now again rain reminds of those days when i was in the hospital…..in the ‘bone marrow’ transplant room..where i could only admire the rain through the glasses of the windows...for me that time going and enjoying those drops of rain and feeling them on my body had just remained a dream..never came true...days passed again and gone was that phrase also...on friday evening again when it was cloudy and it poured...i had mixed memories..i could feel that rain again...i could enjoy every moment of it...seeing the green shades all around was just another reason i feel and pray to live longer and longer...it makes me feel so happy...it just brushed up all the past 7-8 years of my life in a fraction of a second...i wanted to call up the world and shout n tell them..guys look at me...im back again...it was like a dream come true...it was an achievement...a victory....i just wanted to bend down n thank god for being so kind to me...things changed...life changed...i changed.,..but my memories with the rain will last forever...forever n forever!!!
too many rains more to see...every time to remind of golden moments spent..and yes of course to create some more beautiful memories......

journey begins.. to never end..

2009-01-26T23:47:00.000-08:00

two things dancer must follow........

'take guidance from all possible sources and similarly learn to walk solo in order to create your own remarkable niche'
that’s something sir (guru. shri. snehal desai, vocalist) told me other day....... after my performance at ‘tilak smarak auditorium’ pune.
‘vishari mahila mandal’ is a group of almost 1400 jain ladies in pune. from many years, my mother wanted me to perform on annual function of this group. and every year i denied! ‘no, its not now!’ my answer would always disappoint her then.. i too was excited to begin my journey as a solo bharatnatyam dancer but then i chose to wait.
' though the perfection never ends, there is always a level of standard one wants to follow.. in any case.. in any circumstance!'
but then this year, i thought i should go about it! i thought i would be able to present myself as a bharatnatyam dancer. i thought i would be able to give a solo performance in front of 1000 people or more….. and more importantly i thought i would present a spectacular act! after all i am learning dance from someone who is so good, so authentic and amazing bharatnatyam dancer herself! my teacher, my inspiration: guru. gauri snehal desai. :)
so we immediately got down to decide on, which item i should perform? we both wanted something, which has a good combination of technique (footwork, hand gestures, movements which create aesthetic pleasure) and abhinaya (expressions)!
tai (aka-teacher) selected ‘ganesh vandana’!! shlokas recited in this ganesh vandana are from ganeshabhujangam by aadya shankaracharya.. i must say a very old composition, composed further and sung by sir in his melodious and charming voice!
i am always short of words to describe how beautifully tai choreographs each item! it’s something to see and learn and not just to write here and challenge your imagination. i began practicing and finished it quickly!
now there must be some barrier when you begin as a solo. isn’t it? i too had couple of them! just to mention a substantial one, the time when i had to perform and i was revising my things in wing, one lady from organizers committee turned up. she asked me, how long i am going to perform? guessing her intention, i said i have prepared for a song of 6:07 minutes and things have already been discussed. she said, oh that i don’t know anything …just finish it off in 3 minutes!!!! wt.............. now how i am suppose to do that? perform half the song? or do the rest half next year? does she think i can dance in some fast forward setting? why the hell i would even think of doing that? and why she wants me to do something like that? i composed myself immediately.. and replied as possibly as in humble tone, that either i will perform the full song or i will not! i need not to know your time limitations. she went to call some other superior lady to deal with me now. other one was the president of that group. obviously, i wasn’t ready to listen to their nonsense and the lady on the dais began with compere for my song!
i took my position in wing. quite irritated by this whole conversation, i closed my eyes on the first aalapi(music piece) so that i enter stage with happy face, as if nothing happened and i am all here to praise lord ganesha! i always feel sir’s melodious voice just helps to get the best out of you. his voice actually gives so much scope for natural expressions… i enjoyed myself next 6:07mins..
after my performance, anjali(my dance mate) was helping me out with ankle bells and we both were engrossed in my luggage. just then, those ladies caught me again! but this time it was for something else;)
first one said, ohhh that was fabulous!! bavuj saras performance hatu! (your performance was too good) since how long are you learning this dance? u know something, my grand daughter is performing kathak now. me and anjali were quite surprised now, that she isn’t getting late to see her grand daughter’s performance and was on and on chatting, until i reminded her! anyway such cute things are part and parcel before and after any show.
as a dancer..
i won’t say it was a very perfect performance that day :( i find so many flaws when i see video today :( “this i could have done better, that i could have expressed better.. this pose didn’t go well.. that footwork could have been stronger… and so on….
“ i will always be my own competition and self critic!” there is always something one feels missing and that’s why may be you never stop practicing.. isn’t it?
but then, the applause in between for almost 3 times says it clear that people liked it! and they are still whole-heart edly appreciating it :) i am so thankful to them.
many shows have come before this and many will come after this. but this one will always remain memorable to me in a different way…. a way through which i started this journey as a solo, wearing the same costume my teacher wore 14 years ago for her arangetram in the same auditorium!
just when i think today, its going to be the same auditorium, same number of people next year and i have to perform my solo’ arangetram’ .. it gives me goosebumps and many dreams about that ‘transformation’ into better dancer.. it fills all those voids i felt when i took a exit this time.
may be journey begins .. to never end ..!

One date with Mr.Nature!

2008-11-23T23:07:00.000-08:00

one early morning..
you get up as fresh as ‘just born’

one insecured thought, lingering through out last night..
tells you though ‘life is going to be all fine’

one friend..
who cares for you, as much as u do

one lovely message..
' see you soon '

one small road..
you wish it never ends

one small garden..
and scenery around..
oh, how much I love talking to my plants still

one peacock, bunch of those bamboos
one bench over bridge, and some waterfalls
who wants more..

one walk over one talk..
combination cant get better

one sweet smile..
assures your deepest concerns

one life..
just to keep it going,

one date..
i wish, i go on
with mr. nature!..
again and again :)

tympanoplasty surgery

2008-10-21T22:37:00.000-07:00

Now some pinch of salt with sugar :)
I went through ear surgery on 10th oct ‘08. In medical terms its called ‘tympanoplasty surgery'..currently I am under my rest and medicine period advised for three weeks..

Reasons to write this blog:
Those who will come across this blog and incase if anyone is going through this same surgery then I can be help in my way.
my experience of going through this surgery is not the only valid reason to write but I have been very lucky with assistant things like – the way my surgery was done, my doctor (who did the particular surgery from inside ear) very few doctors do it that way. Ratio is 1:6 and how does it benefit me today, by doing the same surgery in better and advanced way

what this surgery is all about?
· well it’s a surgery needed to heal perforation in ear drum. I.e hole in eardrum.
· http://audilab.bmed.mcgill.ca/AudiLab/teach/me_saf/me_saf.html
structure and function of ear.

Causes of perforation:
· Childhood perforations most commonly occur from infections_ fortunately self healing!

· An adult with a perforation will generally notice a hearing loss in the ear. Water entering the ear when showering or swimming may be painful and can cause dizziness. Frequent summer ear infections related to swimming may be a symptom of an undetected perforation. Most adults with frequent ear infections usually have had a history of ear infections in childhood.

· Flying with a severe cold can also perforate an eardrum due to changes in air pressure. This is especially true on landing.

· Self-inflicted damage with a cotton swab or other device inserted into the ear is another common cause of eardrum perforation in adults and children.

In my case it was a combination of all of these reasons. :(

Myself, a very prone child to cold and cough. I hardly took up swimming may be cause of the same. When the infections majors one ends up answering the continuous itching inside ear by cotton swab. You can survive with that itching temporary (by using cotton swabs) but then not for long. Eventually you would end up hurting ear… perhaps I have survived last 10 years of my life with the same..! (I used cotton swabs too)
But then lately, I started experiencing ‘vertigo’ too very often specially after my dance practices! my right side ear (damaged) had no air sensation compared to the left one, plus I was experiencing some hearing loss too for the same side ear.
When I got things checked, Doctor in pune advised me immediate surgery cause my perforation was 45% (that’s a lot) with major hearing loss of one ear and specially ‘vertigo’ would get me bugged at myself…….. :( as it had nothing to do with my stamina levels (which I thought would be one) but only ‘my damaged ear’ was the one reason why I would get vertigo.
With work commitments and other things around (may be my good luck!) I could not do surgery immediately. The only bad side of this was when I got it done (eventually in mumbai) my perforation was almost 65% total. :O already added 20% more to original harm in just 2 months… unbelievable...
The good side of doing this surgery in mumbai and little late was that, i got to know things about this surgery before and how its done in little detailed manner. and I been very lucky knowing and finally going through this better treatment.

I was fortunate enough to come across DR. Divyaprabhat (ENT surgeon, mumbai) through my aunt who lives in mumbai. Dr. divyaprabhat was her student 20 years back.

Dr.Divya Prabhat does this surgery in a very skillful way. And as I mentioned before, he operates internally i.e through ear and very few doctors do it that way. (the one in pune was going to do it another way)

usually when you do the same surgery from giving a cut outside it has its own limitations_
· You will be given full anesthesia
· Doctors need to take a cut from outside ear to reach inside and do further surgery (girls be ready, nurse will definitely trim ur hair near ear)
· Once your ear is cut, it needs stitches to get back to original.
· Stitches may cause fibrosis near ear (your ear may loose its original positioning)
· Recovery healing time can be 2 months if you can afford pain real longer :) compared to when you can do the same things in advanced better way which is

When you do it through ear
· You are given local anesthesia plus sleeping injections (though it pains while operating and no sleeping injection works, but you tolerate minimum as compared to when surgery is done from outside)
· Almost bloodless surgery _ my haemoglobin was low during surgery still there was hardly any problem to undergo surgery
· No extra stitches since no extra cuts on ear
· No fibrosis of tissues (my ear today just looks the same) :P
· recovery is faster and better.. hearing loss will recover too.
· http://www.earsurgery.org/tympan.html _ tympanoplasty surgery

On 7th I started with medicines, antibiotics
On 10th morning 8:00 I went through surgery, same day evening discharged to my uncles place
On 13th morning 8:00 went for check up, follow up (doctor said I can travel back to pune)
On 13th night I reached to pune
Started eating solid diet from 14th oct

currently I am on medicines, antibiotics.
work, dance, driving, swimming, hair wash, hangout, chilled food, sour tastes…. nothing is really allowed to do/have for next 3 weeks.. Its little difficult today, when each and every sound I hear is crisp clear to me .. I find everything loud suddenly! but that’s temporary. I shall be fine soon and adjust ant to this new frequency of voice or noise :P
in order to recover properly and forever one needs to rest ! Though it gets really boring at times..
I am going through my own set of temperaments coping with situation……. But a very big thank to all of those people who been lot of help and support during this surgery....... and are still helping me to get out this surgery thing mentally and physically.. :)

here is my doctors’ details :

DR. DIVYA PRABHAT
M.S. (ENT), D.O.R.L., D.N.B., F.I.C.S.

EAR-NOSE-THROAT SPECIALIST,
ENDOSCOPY AND LASER SURGEON
TIME: 4.00 P.M TO 7.00 P.M
Monday to Friday

JEEVAK HOSPITAL
Opp. Asiad bus stand, near Dadar .T.T
Dadar (east) Mumbai –400014
Tel: 2418 3922 / 2414 0055
Email: divyaprabhat@gmail.com

you learn through play..

2008-09-29T05:10:00.000-07:00

I visited Pondicherry, Auroville and Chennai for the first time in April 2007 with my dance friends, teacher. We stayed in mothers ashram for some days in Pondicherry and visited Auroville’s Matrimandir for one day..
I love both these places so much for the amount of peace and discipline these places follow,
While roaming around mother’s guest house area, her ashram, areas near her samadhi, cottages, all departments, specially the place where we used to eat.. wow.. one must experience the silence, peace, discipline and ‘food’ out there. In reality I feel they are the only one who execute pin drop silence. no one wants to check mobile phones… no one dares to.. you are not compelled to do the same .you are only requested and that says it all about the polite behavior of those people and their efficient management skills. You just cant say ‘no’ to any of the things they wish u follow visiting these areas. you may ask me by now, who was ‘mother’?? is she your mother?

Mother was french lady and her name was ‘Mirra’. people must have started calling her as ‘mother’ as she was the person who did so much for the mankind, for kids, for child. you name the area and mother have contributed something in the same. Two of her works, dreaming architecture of Aurovilles Matrimandir, working on that 'dream' in reality and opening international school will always remain inspirational to me. She was so good in everything she did..
how can one dream such a beautiful architecture piece who is not even an architect.. how can she choose colors, patterns so well?? how could she know materials so well? Her drive to perfection and enthusiasm is something you experience in every little she does. those who have visited matrimandir will stand by what I am saying here. ‘Golkond’ building (now hotel) took so much time for construction but I still wonder how they managed natural air conditioning with stones alone?? Mother knew how to do things differently better. We also visited one of the schools one day. saw amazing enthusiasm by elderly crowd who marched so well that day..

Anyway, back of my mind I was so moved and inspired to do something alike. it immediately strike me if I can design some school in Pondicherry ? I really wanted to design some school now….
as I came back to pune this desire remain somewhere back of my mind. I started with my other routine work. Never knowing this would really happen to me :) And I will get to design school soon! not in pondicherry but in pune. Never the less. if you have heard and believe this dialogue from movie om shaanti om “ kehte he, agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho, toh puri kaynath usse tumase milane ki koshish me lag jati he……”

1st may 2008.. labours day! Holiday! and one lady called..
all she wanted that day was appointment on coming Sunday!
Me: mam we are off on Sunday (obviously after early morning dance practice, travel and heavy lunch I prefer watching movies, who wants to work on Sundays??)
Leena (name held with privacy) : mam, Sunday will be better for me… and I have very less time to do things.. (again the routine demand)
Me: what is it all about? what you want to design? area? Sq.ft?
Leena : mam I have to design a nursery.. and its located……….
I cut her immediately..
Me: nursery??!!!!!!!!!
Leena : yeah….
Me: allright I will confirm appointment on Sunday itself.. if you can visit office by12pm ?
Leena : ohh.. ok .. Sunday any time will do!
The only thought stuck that time was.. its something for kids..it’s a school!

Sunday morning after dance practice my teacher gave me one beautiful picture of ‘Mother’, the picture she got from her recent visit to Pondicherry. today I believe it was more than just a coincidence of my teacher giving me mothers picture same day when Leena was going to visit me.
And I was waiting for her now. Flat one and half hour late.. I was irritated.. i cant even take 10 minutes late come easily. needless to say punctual myself. soon she entered with 4 year old kid.. sweating, irritated (more than me) and was asking her child to behave well! I got the picture and got calm down. We had a long conversation for 3 hours and meeting concluded with my first site visit another day!

Very strict budgets, time limitations and more to it, it wasn’t just another office or residence for me to design. It expected to carry out different official and residential activities simultaneously. Being a kindergarten school it had to have nursery, day care, club, outdoor, kitchen, reception altogether. Total second house for children of 9months to 4 years age who learn, educate, play all under one roof. In short it was a challenging project, which expect a fine blend of science with art.
I was rethinking! Whether to take up this project? one mind said plain simple ‘no’.. Accepting this project definitely means somewhere rejecting other. which can be from usual marwadi, gujrathi, corporate clients.
Dance being integral part of my life I somewhere need to manage my time well, save my energy for the same. i don’t have much time for trial and errors……I need to be selective. whether picking this project will benefit me? And How?
“You can not balance your loss with other profits. still lots to be done priti! You have arangetram coming up.. girlie don’t fall for this. My mind was calculating fast……….
and just next moment of realization, I was so shameful of myself.. how could I even think no? Being in service industry, designing bar is also my duty so as designing school. I should be glad that I get to do this! How could I rethink?? But it happens..
when you are into business its hard 'not to' think business always and when you are pursuing some beautiful art along with your profession you need to be selective so that you meet a good balance in both!
Finally my dilemma ended. I took up the project. Before I started designing, I personally visited almost 10 kindergarten schools around area. I will say every school was disaster when it came to designing! each school had painted heavily on wall.. Mickey mouse, Donald, Dora, all cartoon characters.. and nothing more than that they had to teach child.. I was wondering if these are schools?? no thoughtful concepts, no precautions, not even a proper designed concept chart for numbers, letters.one of the school had no railing for staircase. And this staircase was leading to daycare area (9 to 24 months old kids) I was wondering how mothers will be leaving their children to any of these school??
may be these places were not planned well, may be they didn’t appoint any designer to do things but they had all the money to paint so heavily on walls, and do what is not really necessary to do. I could not make out any school differently as they all looked so similar with heavy painted walls around and nothing much happening on floor. only one school could come to my rescue which looked better than all others..!

my project place was comparatively different and small than any others and I had to use each and every corner well now. It took me four months to design and execute the same. Most of time went in deciding and searching how this school can look different, simultaneously executing those different ideas.
I must say my client was helping me a lot when it came to different things.
I was not treating this school as any other typical Indian school. My focus was to execute everything good collected from across the world. Be it a toy or entire new activity for child to learn through play. It was more than each day headache when it came to execute things out of the routine job of interiors. Everything I liked was mostly unavailable in Indian market. Anyone bet me find 3 feet and above tall dollhouse with every room and every activity placed in it.
India has only two types of doll houses
1.doll house _ a fabric or plastic house shape tent
2.doll house_ as box as one 17” computer.
one option was to ship things from abroad but we thought lets make it.
it was my clients push that I went into torturing myself with toy designs, activity corners.
most of the time we deny saying , its not my job. Its some other master’s job (toy designer, product designer may be) never giving a chance to be a master our self. Today I can proudly say “ yes this is the little different school in pune which has child to learn more than cartoons, colors, and to learn through play. This School’s punch line says “play, learn, shine”…. and school interior gives every reason for the same, to play... to learn.. to shine..

I will not say I designed things very differently. In fact poor budget didn’t allow me to play much with new things. 50% of ideas, designs we could not execute due to budget and space limitation.only one thing I took care of was to ask myself and argue with my client again and again whenever it came to reasoning anything.. I have strong reasons of doing particular thing or not doing so. Though with every work there is always a balance sheet of flaws and assets.. I have my own set of grievances of the same, that without much of interference and proper harmony I could have done things much much better..
‘Graphics’ of classroom are something,I wished were more educative and contemporary.. they didn’t come out that well..they could have been so better.
I wanted carpet on staircase.. wanted better bedsheets for day care and so many things which did not happen due to difference of opinion between me and client. but one don’t has control of every small thing. Its next to impossible to convince client and do their brain wash in every little small thing.. few things are left for client to regret later, on account of not following the consulted suggestions :) :P I managed headache upto my tolerance level leaving rest of the things to happen on merit of their own destiny!
never the less I managed to do my job well..afterall
with every new work one plays
with every new work one learns
with every new work one shines!

politicians (un)common holi!

2008-06-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

By profession I am an Interior Designer.In 2006 mid, I established my firm called ‘en trance’ .. I design commercial and high end residential projects and of course if something interesting (not always known as commercial or high end residential) comes on the way!

The above small introduction part was only to support a stand to what I am expressing here is not myth, fiction, and is a true experience!

Its about the period feb/mar 2008.. very close to holi festival.. in Maharashtra ..in India

Generally we people that is designers, architects, civil engineers, builders.. we have migrants as labor from Uttar Pradesh mostly, for executing our interior projects.
Its been long since UP people have massive hold over services like plaster of paris work(pop), paint, carpentry etc. as compared to other maharashtrian labor(the one who lives in maharashtra and of any cast/creed) why???? Why we have migrants?? Why we have labor of UP for our work??
Well I don’t know.. may be the tradition!

But with my experience I realized the reasons behind their migration and a strong hold in the industry!
Yes, they are far more efficient, superior than any other local ones.
I am a witness to their work of more than 12 hours per day.
I am a witness to their attitudes of perfection without any complaints.
I am a witness to their nature of adjustments.. towards money, time.. yes they are poor with rich hearts!
I am a witness to the local maharashtrian labor who needed my extra attention to get things done.
Actually countless comparisons!

If to judge things by each individual and their attitudes, surely it might not be true in each case.. but I am talking masses.
I am not trying to speak any particular region. Not at all. I am still an Indian, may be for that matter I am still a Maharashtrian….
But yes it’s a fact, that UP labor is preferred over local ones in maharashtra!
many of the architects, designers, colleagues will agree or disagree here..

anyways I am here to speak on behalf of those UP labor and a unfair game happened to them, to us!
Local politicians (??!! Most of people know which political body) all of sudden one day decided to throw UP migrants out of maharahstra! Yes it was all of sudden……….. and who knows the exact reason for doing it so?
Few said local labor must be at work.
Few said its all about their non maharashtrian attitudes! (first explain me what is maharashtrian attitude?)
Few said one has no right to work so good being migrant..

This conflict resulted into obvious riots.. a second planned thing by political party!
Imagine if things ever get solve without that..?
I could see on television the way some taxi drivers were beaten in mumbai.. their cars were damaged.. for nothing actually! I bet most of them were not from UP also.. they were suffering.. blood, fire, glass, stones, hockey sticks.. Violence was at peak! Curfew went on for long 4 weeks in pune! Karvenagar, varje malvadi areas of pune where all these UP labor stays were under tight custody of this so called politicians. They were not allowed to come out of their houses. the only left option was to go back! Go back to Uttar Pradesh or anywhere. you can no more stay in maharashtra! Imagine trains were flooded with these migrants! Few other political bodies went on railway stations to console, ask them to stay.. but these people had decided to go back.. to save their lives.. tell me, who wants to live so "unwanted?!"

Some of them thought to return after holi festival.. after few days, when things get peaceful again.. holi is there dear festival to visit home, meet wife, children ,celebrate.. who knew they will be visiting such a way? My head carpenter said his colleague’s one hand was cut totally in riot……..

At our end, things were never so cold dead before. Unthinkable 4 weeks without labor. Development was totally at loss. may be today tomorrow these people will earn their bread butter elsewhere. but we(maharshtra) are at permanent loss of this skillful labor and for that matter true development. A good team is not build up every now and then! With temporary labor we carried our respective works then… but I cannot imagine the repetition..

Today things have got down to routine.. few of the people are back.. few aren’t.. few I am clueless!
Yes I am still searching one painter of my team. I wish nothing has gone wrong with him. I wish he is safe.

This left many questions behind to me about human rights!
Right to work, right to choose, right to live in peace.. I am still exploring things as Indian in global world..
We call ourselves educated.. but what more we can do when someone is in trouble, when injustice happen so ruthlessly, when it happens to our own people? what I could do for those 4 weeks ?? nothing substantial!
Sometime back I read in newspaper the guilty person is going to be punished.. I am still waiting for it to happen…………….. may be they still need to learn lessons of ‘live and let live’!

2008-06-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

read it as first blog..

2008-06-08T07:26:00.000-07:00

Writing what?………was never a question to me!
But ‘if’ to write was?
Just taking it as one more mode of expression for now..
Anyways,
Here I am
Lets see how far this takes me………………
Before it takes me..
Let me take THIS back to year start! Year 2008 start!
Both these things I guess are connected somewhere..

I was looking around some quotations, some thoughts to convey my wishes to all my friends, relatives, contacts…basically new years wishes..
I wasn’t really satisfied with available write ups.When nothing could come to my rescue.. and when I was just gonna get disconnected……. just then…….Something really creative happened!
Before I sunk in the previous low feeling,….
I had penned down my emotion, my thought….something which I was searching like a fool on many .coms! I didn’t know it was within somewhere .. poor me:-)
Wow…. that was truly natural..!
to able to express urself well, is just more than a bliss.. and then further to be able to express in different different available ways... !

I pasted the ‘same write up’ to everyone on orkut. My wishes were conveyed .. truly the way I wanted..
Very few replied directly to that.. not that they didn’t like it.. but don’t we know how lazy people are at times to react, to express and to feel ??

Anyways few remarkable encouraging people like,

Mr. Anand (45 year old gentleman writes really well since long.. very regularly sharing his world, his experiences basically a regular blogger) replied! And since then he encouraged me to have blogging id soon... I took long nah anand?

My dance teacher replied with sms. she demanded ‘if its so good, I should write more..
A true teacher who always wants to bring out the best in you! :-)

Atul, I tried to know little from his world through his blogs.. I guess if he wasn’t writing… it would have been little difficult for me to know the sincerity of the overseas fellow.

And to many such people who’s blogs I came across knowingly and unknowingly.. I thank them all! :)

Here’s sharing with you my scribble.. yes… new years wishes of 2008!

was just thinking can i order u to
get me 'that'??
the heart said yes yes yes..!!
followed by no explanations and only faith..that you lead me 'the best'.. !!
probably, this is the connectivity..
just like a continuous flow of water
the continue existence of human
this shall never change, this shall never shake..
for me, it means 'FAITH'
why does it gets important to ask u the same thing all over again
and there mind says.. there it explains..
'it is' never again..
it is pure always..!!
it just adds drop of faith again..
wish u happy and enlightening year!
- priti